After the Silence: I'm Writing Again!

It's been about three years since my last blog post, and a lot has changed since then. One of the things that has changed the most is me. In this first post, I’m sharing what those changes have been, what I’ve learned, and I’ll also answer a question you might be asking yourselves—especially if you used to read me back then—which is: why am I writing again now?

But before we get to that, let’s start from the beginning. My last blog post was in 2022. A year in which I faced many challenges that felt impossible to overcome—or so I thought at the time. But like almost every obstacle life has thrown my way, I’ve been able to get through them with time, and with a lot of perseverance and resilience (which, by the way, is one of the many tattoos I have).

A few months ago, I set out to write what would be my next blog post, and as I did, I started telling a story—*my* story—and I realized that, with everything I have to share, I could actually write a novel. And guess what I did? I started writing it. However, it’s something that’s currently on hold due to the time I have available and other priorities.
But back to the main topic—in that first draft, I was telling you why I stopped writing and everything that has changed over these past three years. So, let’s get into it.

Three years ago, I was diagnosed with a small tumor in my head. It’s benign and nothing to worry about—although I didn’t quite know that at first. Toy, my dog who had been with me for 19 years, passed away. And on top of that, I ended a very toxic professional and personal relationship that had emotionally destroyed me—more than I already was (but I’ll save that story for my novel, if I ever decide to finish it).
I think with all this context, it’s easy to understand why I stopped writing. I really didn’t feel like doing it, or sharing anything with anyone. And after that, life kept me so busy that getting back to it became really difficult. Soon, I’ll tell you why I’m doing it now. But before that, I want to share what changed within me and what I’ve learned—and for that, we need to go back to that moment in my life, three years ago.

It was April 2022. I had just gone through all those things at once a few months earlier, and I still couldn’t get back on my feet. I decided I couldn’t go on like that, and that if I didn’t do something to change my situation, it wasn’t going to magically get better. I had wanted to go to therapy for a long time, because I knew I needed it, but I never dared to take that step—I knew I’d have to face many situations I just wasn’t ready for at the time. I knew I had to let go, or rather, end relationships that were only tearing me apart, but I didn’t want to. Back then, my emotional dependency wouldn’t allow me to. When those relationships were finally gone, I said to myself: *it’s now or never.* The two years I spent working with my therapist were without a doubt necessary and essential for becoming the woman I am today. To everyone who asks me—and even to those who don’t—I always recommend therapy. It changed my life in an incredible way. That doesn’t mean it solved all my problems, because that’s not what therapy is about, but it did help me learn how to manage them better, so they don’t eat me up inside.
I want to pause here for a moment and take the opportunity to thank my first therapist, Julietta, who was like an angel in my life. She saw me cry in many of our sessions and helped me understand where many of my problems came from.
And also to one of my best friends, Sheila—now my family—who made me the godmother of a beautiful little girl I love with all my heart (just one of the countless things that have happened over these past three years). Thank you for introducing me to Julietta, and for gifting me—and insisting I do—my very first session.

Well, that decision was the beginning of change for me. After many months of therapy, I started to feel better and to realize that everything I believed about myself was nothing more than ideas other people had placed in my head. For many years, I felt like I wasn’t good enough—as a dancer, as a professional, and as a woman. They made me feel like I was no one, and I believed it. It still hurts me deeply to know that I let others make me believe I wasn’t worth anything or that I was nothing without them. But at the same time, I don’t blame myself for it—those were unresolved issues I’d been carrying since I was very young, without even knowing it. Thanks to therapy and experience, I’ve learned that ultimately, the responsibility for everything that happened lies with me, because only the people we give that power to can hurt us. I’ve also learned that my worth doesn’t depend on who I have by my side, because I’m capable of achieving anything I set my mind to on my own. And yes, it sounds beautiful and easy when I say it now, but it’s taken years of ongoing personal work, and it’s something I’m still doing today. That doesn’t mean it’s not beautiful and wonderful to have someone supportive by your side, or that you can’t achieve great things together. What I *do* mean is—if the person next to you doesn’t lift you up but rather drags you down, makes you feel like you’re less, like you’re not enough, and brings you more headaches than joy… then they’re definitely not someone essential in your life. And most likely, what they’re bringing into your life is more negative than positive. But I get it—it’s hard to see, just like it was for me. Not once, but twice! And why twice? Because I didn’t do the work on myself the first time. So when that same kind of person came into my life again, I fell for it all over again. Without a doubt, after everything I’ve shared with you—and everything I’ve done to work on myself and how hard it’s been to feel okay again—I won’t let anyone make me doubt my worth or my abilities ever again.

And now, the moment has finally come to answer that question… Why am I writing again now?

Mainly because it’s something I’ve loved doing since I was very young, and I put it aside because of all my responsibilities—and there are quite a few. Also because I know it will help me with my purpose, which I’ll tell you more about in future blog posts.
Also, I feel inspired because this year I’m entering a new decade—I'm turning 30—and I feel that I’ve been through things that could help many people who might be feeling the way I did a few years ago.

So, what can you expect to find here on this blog? If you read the title of the blog: «Aurea Febraio | The Unseen Side”you’ll get an idea. Although I believe I’m quite transparent on my social media, they’re still part of my work. This blog is something I want to use as a space where I can communicate freely—without filters or worrying about what or how I write. You’ll get to know a side of me that’s not often visible, and I’ll also be sharing thoughts related to my work and professional growth—both as an international Kizomba dancer, and as an entrepreneur and business owner.

And that’s all! If you’ve made it this far, I want to thank you for reading, and I’d love to invite you to follow the blog closely so we can share thoughts and perspectives. I’d be happy to hear what you thought of this first post—and also what you’d like to find here in the future.

See you in my next post!

With love,

Aurea Febraio